✨ Hey {{First Name|there}}!
The phrase “terrible twos” gets thrown around a lot.
Tantrums. “No.” Throwing food. Meltdowns in Target.
It can feel relentless.
It can feel personal.
It can feel like something went wrong.
From an OT perspective, the twos aren’t terrible.
They’re developmentally explosive—in the best and hardest ways.
✋ Here’s What We Have for You This Week
• What’s actually happening in the toddler brain
• Why “no” is healthy
• How regulation (not discipline) changes everything
• A simple script + routine for big moments
🧠 What’s Actually Happening at Two (OT Lens)
I remember standing in the kitchen asking for the third time, “Do you want the blue cup or the red cup?”
He screamed.
Collapsed.
Threw himself onto the floor.
It wasn’t about the cup.
It was about power.
Autonomy.
Overwhelm.
A nervous system trying to manage big feelings in a very small body.
And once I stopped seeing it as misbehavior and started seeing it as development, everything shifted.
Around age two, several systems explode at once:
🧠 Language Growth
They understand more than they can express.
Frustration builds when words don’t come fast enough.
💪 Autonomy + Control
They realize: “I am separate from you.”
Saying “no” is practice for independence.
⚖️ Emotional Regulation
The prefrontal cortex (logic, impulse control) is still under construction.
The emotional brain runs the show.
🧍♂️ Body Awareness
They want to move, climb, push, carry, test boundaries.
This isn’t defiance.
It’s wiring.
🚫 Why the “Terrible Twos” Label Hurts
When we label it as terrible, we miss what’s underneath:
• A child learning to tolerate frustration
• A nervous system practicing recovery
• A body discovering independence
• A brain building pathways through repetition
Behavior is communication.
Two-year-olds just communicate loudly.
🛠️ An OT Toolkit for Big Two-Year-Old Moments
1️⃣ Shrink the Choice
Instead of open-ended:
“What do you want?”
Try:
“Blue cup or red cup?”
Fewer options = less overwhelm.
2️⃣ Build Heavy Work Into the Day
Two-year-olds regulate through movement:
• pushing laundry baskets
• carrying grocery bags
• climbing safely
• wall push-ups
A regulated body melts down less often.
3️⃣ Use Simple Scripts
Instead of long explanations:
“I see you’re mad.”
“You wanted it.”
“I’m here.”
Validation calms faster than logic.
4️⃣ Practice Recovery, Not Avoidance
The goal isn’t preventing every tantrum.
It’s helping them move through it.
Short hug.
Deep breath together.
Then reset.
⏱️ A Simple “Big Emotion” Routine
When a meltdown hits:
1️⃣ Lower your voice
2️⃣ Get physically close
3️⃣ Use one short validating sentence
4️⃣ Offer pressure (hug, hand squeeze)
5️⃣ Wait
Toddlers borrow our nervous systems.
💬 Last Week’s Parent Check-In Results
Last week, we asked how the crib-to-bed transition is going. Here’s what you shared:
🛏️ 29% — Just transitioned, sleep feels wobbly
🧸 24% — Still in crib, thinking about it
🚶♂️ 22% — In a bed but lots of getting up
😌 17% — Mostly settled now
⏳ 8% — Not there yet
Transitions are big for little nervous systems—just like age two.
💬 This Week’s Parent Check-In
What shows up most in your “terrible twos” season?
1️⃣ Big tantrums
2️⃣ Constant “no”
3️⃣ Clinginess
4️⃣ Throwing / hitting
5️⃣ Honestly… all of it
👉 Reply with your number.
Next week, I’ll share the results—and OT strategies tailored to the most common challenge.
Wrapping Up for Today
Two-year-olds aren’t terrible.
They’re learning who they are.
They’re practicing power.
Testing safety.
Building regulation.
And yes—it’s exhausting.
But underneath every meltdown is a growing brain doing exactly what it’s meant to do.
Big high-five,
Eliana, OT & Mom
