✨ Hey {{First Name|there}}!
Tantrums can feel loud, overwhelming, and sometimes embarrassing—especially when they happen in public.
It’s easy to think they mean something is wrong.
That your child is being difficult.
That you’re doing something wrong.
From an OT perspective, tantrums are not bad behavior.
They are a nervous system that’s overwhelmed and asking for help.
✋ Here’s What We Have for You This Week
• What tantrums actually mean
• The difference between meltdown and manipulation
• Why some kids have more than others
• Simple OT strategies to help your child recover faster
🍼 A Personal Moment
I remember one afternoon rushing to get out the door. Shoes on. Bag packed. Keys in hand.
And suddenly, a full meltdown over the wrong snack.
It wasn’t about the snack.
It was about hunger, fatigue, transitions, and a nervous system already running on empty.
Once I slowed down and looked underneath the behavior, the situation made sense.
That shift—from reacting to understanding—changed everything.
🧠 What’s Happening During a Tantrum (OT Lens)
A tantrum is a fight, flight, or freeze response.
When kids feel overwhelmed, their brain moves into survival mode. The thinking part of the brain goes offline, and the emotional brain takes over.
This is why:
• Logic doesn’t work
• Reasoning makes it worse
• Punishment escalates the situation
• They can’t “just calm down”
They are not choosing this.
Their nervous system is driving.
🔍 Tantrum vs. Meltdown
Understanding the difference matters.
Tantrum:
• Goal-directed
• Stops if the need is met
• Can sometimes be redirected
Meltdown:
• Loss of control
• Sensory or emotional overload
• Needs regulation, not negotiation
Most young children have both. Both are normal.
⚖️ Why Some Kids Have More Tantrums
From an OT lens, kids with big tantrums often have:
• Sensory sensitivities
• Lower frustration tolerance
• Immature regulation skills
• Higher need for movement or deep pressure
• Difficulty with transitions
This doesn’t mean something is wrong.
It means their nervous system needs more support.
🛠️ OT Tools That Actually Help
1️⃣ Co-Regulation First
Your calm nervous system is the fastest path to their calm.
Lower your voice.
Slow your body.
Stay physically close.
2️⃣ Reduce Language
Too many words increase overload.
Try short phrases:
“I’m here.”
“You’re safe.”
“I see you.”
3️⃣ Deep Pressure
Many kids calm faster with:
• hugs
• hand squeezes
• wrapping in a blanket
• firm back rubs
This gives the brain safety signals.
4️⃣ Movement Breaks
Prevent tantrums by building movement into the day:
• climbing
• pushing
• carrying
• jumping
Regulated bodies melt down less.
5️⃣ Plan for Transitions
Tantrums often happen during change.
Give warnings:
“Two more minutes.”
“One more turn.”
Predictability lowers stress.
⏱️ A Simple Tantrum Recovery Routine
When the storm hits:
1️⃣ Pause and breathe
2️⃣ Move closer
3️⃣ Offer pressure or comfort
4️⃣ Use one calm phrase
5️⃣ Wait
Recovery builds the brain.
💬 Last Week’s Parent Check-In Results
Last week, we asked:
Where are you in the crib-to-bed journey?
Here’s what you shared:
🛏️ 33% — Just transitioned, and sleep feels wobbly
🧸 27% — Still in the crib, thinking about it
🚶♂️ 19% — In a bed but lots of getting up
😌 14% — Mostly settled now
⏳ 7% — Not there yet
Sleep and regulation are deeply connected—which means tantrums often increase during big transitions.
💬 This Week’s Parent Check-In
What feels hardest about tantrums right now?
1️⃣ Public meltdowns
2️⃣ Transitions
3️⃣ Bedtime
4️⃣ Sibling conflict
5️⃣ Big emotions all day
👉 Reply with your number.
Next week, I’ll share the results—and OT strategies tailored to the most common challenge.
Wrapping Up for Today
Tantrums are not a sign of failure.
They are a sign of growth.
Each meltdown is practice for regulation.
Each recovery builds resilience.
You don’t need to eliminate tantrums.
You just need to support the nervous system through them.
And that is more than enough.
Big high-five,
Eliana, OT & Mom
